hyperphagia

Yup, I is hungry just can't seem to fill up.  So much for that diet I started eh!  Meh!

I think I kinda knew this in the back of my head, but you know we have to protect ourselves.  Give ourselves hope... I have to keep hoping.  So try try I will, BUT I refuse to spin my wheels.   Doing a LOT of DBT self work-books, okay I missed a few days, but I am back at it starting tomorrow.  Really if I don't I am just hurting myself.

I love reading (some) blogs.  Very cool to see so many different kinds of people.  What annoys me is that SO many of them are ED.  Which is fine, I mean look at me, I am a hot mess, however at least I am aware and trying to work through it.  I see these blogs and with a cult following and I am like HUH??!?!?  WTF. It is hard not to go back and look, like driving by a car wreck, you just have to look.  Maybe that is what the others are doing too, sugar coating and gloating in their own issues or it makes them feel better to see someone else sick, because that is what it is, sick.  OR perhaps it makes them feel "normal" like there is nothing wrong with them, they are all the same mish-mosh of orthrexia-anorexia-binge-bulimic-over-exercised-food obsessed girls that get off on each others crazy food concoctions and combinations that you would only see in the blog world or the world of girls with these disorders and issues.  I mean it is amazing to know exactly what someone's breakfast is going to be, some form of cereal with a tsp of pb on top and protein powder almond milk or some crazy shit.  Then lunch is broccoli and chicken and maybe some ketchup.  IT really disgusts me and I feel guilty about that, as I have my own crazy idiotic and embarrassing ED behaviors and thoughts, but at least I don't prance around acting like I don't have a problem, or living in a world that pretends everything is hunky dory.

I would post links to some offenders but I will forgo that for now.